Q: It’s possible that my question may be too general, but I wanted to know if there are any specific actions that parents can take in order to raise good kids—kids with yiras Shamayim, integrity and strong values, especially in this generation which is replete with spiritual threats?
Nasi of Pele Yoetz Hagaon Harav Dovid Levy, shlit”a, responds: Your question is excellent, and I’ll rephrase it in a shorter, simpler fashion: Is there a magic recipe for good kids?
According to what we know, good kids are the product of a wide range of elements—most significantly tefillos, zechuyos, and endless siyata diShmaya—yet there are definitely additional elements that are conductive to their growth and personal development and that can facilitate you, as a parent, in building doros yesharim mevorachim.
We’ll present several ideas, but it’s important to note that the following are only tips, and certainly not guarantees of success!
First and foremost, a happy, positive, pleasant and accepting atmosphere in the home is crucial to a child’s positive development. Mechanchim across the board unanimously agree that a home filled with strife, tension, and friction, or alternatively—and no better—a child who bears the brunt of humiliating treatment or rejection—is a clear recipe for disaster.
Every person—man, woman, adult or child—prefers a pleasant, calm atmosphere as opposed to one rife with tension and anger. Just as a smile warms the heart, a sour face repels others.
In today’s day and age, which abounds with myriad opportunities for children to fall prey to spiritual stumbling blocks, a happy, pleasant house that exudes warmth and acceptance is virtually the only means of ensuring that the future generation remains faithful to Torah and mitzvos. Any time a child faces spiritual temptation or challenge, he will position his home—the happiness and closeness, the warmth and love, the loving parents and siblings that he is liable to lose—on the other side of the scale, and make his decision.
The same applies to Yiddishkeit. If the Judaism that he knows at home is replete with love and enjoyment, pleasure and happiness; if Shabbos kodesh is a day of light and radiance; if Torah is sweet, tempting and the most precious acquisition in the world; and there is no asset more exalted or valuable than tefillah amidst of ehrliche Yidden, then no child will willingly forfeit these. Obviously, without entering into the tragic descriptions, the opposite is true as well…
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