Dear Pele Yoetz,
First and foremost, I want to thank you for the wonderful insights that we gain month after month through this excellent column. Yasher koach!
Second, I wanted to ask your advice about what to do about this time of year as we approach the end of the zman. I find that by the time it comes to this stage in the year, my children (and to be honest, even I) slack off somewhat. The children have a hard time waking up in the morning and are largely unmotivated. I try excusing the behavior with the fact that “it’s the end of the zman”, the heat, the girls are all on vacation… But is this end-of-the-year syndrome natural and acceptable since, very soon, we’ll be starting a new year fresh and invigorated? It is worth making an issue about a few short weeks, or as parents, should be we standing our ground?
Hagaon Harav Dovid Levy shlit”a responds: Shalom aleichem! I’m delighted to hear that you enjoy this column, and I hope that you’ve been able to implement at least some of the tips and insights that you’ve gained over the years.
On to your question: Yes, it’s completely natural and normal for children, and even adults, to “slack off” somewhat toward the end of the year. But no, it’s not recommended to allow this behavior to persist, even during these few short weeks before bein hazemanim.
In the first se’if of the Shulchan Aruch, the Rema writes: “U’veshachbo al mishkavo yeidah lifnei Mi hu shochev…And when he lies on his bed, he should know before Whom he lies, and as soon as he awakens from his sleep, he should rise with alacrity to serve his Creator.”
Why does the Rema mention going to sleep in the halachos of Hashkamas Haboker, when it is more relevant to Siman 239 which discusses the halachos of sleep?
[As an aside, one thing to learn from this is that going to sleep at night is vital preparation for the following morning. Rav Chaim Volozhin zy”a illuminates the passuk “Ad masai atzel tishkav, how long will you, lazy one, rest?” (Mishlei 6:9) to mean that if you do not lie down, you will not awaken in the morning, and then you will forfeit zman tefillah b’tzibbur.]
The simple answer is that the Shulchan Aruch discusses two aspects of sleep: The halachos of sleep in Siman 239 pertain to a person’s daily schedule; but here, already in the first siman of Shulchan Aruch, the Rema teaches us that getting up in the morning is actually based on yesterday! Only when we go to sleep with yiras Shamayim at night, can we awaken refreshed and eager to serve Hashem again in the morning.
This concept can be related to virtually any subject. Even a newborn baby isn’t born with a completely clean slate. The Chazon Ish was once asked by a father at what age he should start being mechanech his child, and his famous answer was that chinuch starts before the parents’ chasunah!
I’ll illustrate this with a real-life example. Imagine a family that lives many years in a rental apartment and never invested time or energy into cleaning or maintaining their apartment because it wasn’t theirs’ anyway. Yet they always professed that when the time comes to buy their own apartment, they’ll make sure it’s spic-and-span. One day, the family finally gets the money together to buy their own home, and you can imagine how after years of neglecting their housekeeping habits, what the place looks like…
If we want to start off the new school year with a bang, we—and children especially—need hachanah. They need preparation; they need to develop and practice good habits; they need to be ready to face a new year. All this isn’t achieved by waking up every day at ten and then whiling away their time on the beach… In order to ensure that our children are physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually prepared to greet a new year, we need to work on building upon the skills and abilities that they gained during the previous zman, as this will allow them to succeed in the new year as well.
There’s a natural inclination to push off change until “tomorrow”. There’s always tomorrow, next week, next month or next year—but this is a mistake! New beginnings are what motivate us, and we need to start now. Not tomorrow, not next week, and not next month.
Today.
On a practical level, I won’t deny that the last few days of a zman are challenging, and it’s hard to keep up our regular demands on our children and students. The heat is here, and it’s often brutal; and everyone needs a vacation. If need be, parents and teachers may relax their rules a little, but never forgo matters of principle, because these are the foundations that their children will build upon in the coming year, b’ezras Hashem!
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