Combat fear of war with routine!‏

First and foremost, I want to express my gratitude to Rav Levy shlit”a for the wonderful monthly articles, answers and practical tips that we receive every month which we strive to implement into our daily chinuch. Yasher koach! Based on the Rav’s replies during the question and answer forum regarding the war, I understood that it is very important during these difficult times for parents to maintain yishuv hadaas, and I would like to ask the Rav for some practical advice on how to achieve this?

Hagaon Harav Dovid Levy shlit”a replies: I’ll begin with a letter that I received from an avreich well before the difficult events of the past month began. In my opinion, it is still exceedingly relevant to the time, and by answering this question, we’ll answer your question, as well.

Here was the question: “How are we supposed to cope with this long, endless winter, with two Adars? Even with Chanukah and Tu Bishvat interspersed in the middle, it still seems like such a long, dreary endless road ahead, an impassable ocean to cross.”

The answer to this question and many other related questions is rooted in understanding the power of routine as a basis for good life.

The Hebrew expression “la’asot chaim,” which is perhaps best translated as “live it up!” falsely relegates life to a collection of experiences and feelings and everything else to boredom and death. Yet the truth is the diametric opposite. Life is comprised of the most elemental, basic activities and things – a breath of air, a cup of water, a simple meal of bread and butter, a smile from a friendly neighbor, a conversation with a friend you spoke to just yesterday… These simple elements and experiences are what really comprise our lives, not the extreme emotions, gourmet meals that the body can barely digest, high-end vacations and roller coaster rides, close friendships that reach the point of unhealthy dependency, or exhilaration that accompany special, memorable experiences...

The culture of plenty that surrounds us unfortunately blinds us to the beautiful, small gifts that fill our lives. This is why we tend to live with a sense of boredom that dissipates only when something new and exciting enters our life, although even that tends to vanish as quickly as it came, leaving us bored and empty once again. This (and other factors, as well) also sheds light on people’s addiction to the news. News is, by definition, sensational, and people are constantly seeking the new and tumultuous, anything to avoid the daily routine of life. Yet even news, like salt water, doesn’t actually satiate our thirst but rather whets the appetite for more.

In order to draw pleasure and interest from all the good that surrounds us, we need to open our eyes and examine things as they come—to identify the unique attribute inside the little bits of life and express appreciation for them. We need to look for the good around us, see it, and feel it.

There’s a saying that goes “you don’t want to feel your bones” and another frum expression, “we should never have to celebrate ‘huge simchas…’” (read: a child born after ten years). There’s a kernel of truth in every adage, and yet we have the ability, despite this, to notice, discern and rejoice with the very basics—the simple elements that make up our lives.

There’s another issue that draws from the fact that we dwell in this culture of plenty, and that’s the ease with which we attain the simple things. If once upon a time, people were forced to draw water from a well and rise at the crack of dawn to knead dough for bread… If once upon a time, women spent a whole day at the riverside washing clothes so they would have clean garments, today things are different. Life comes easily to us; the elements that comprise our live are too effortlessly attained, causing the satisfaction that we should feel from the basics to lose its luster. People don’t go to bed after a hard workday and sleep soundly. Instead, the days meld into nights and the nights drag into the days, and during the nights, our failures and inactions are not as obvious…

Notwithstanding, we have a choice if we want to fritter away the time that we are able to save on inanities and extreme emotional experiences, or to take advantage of it to advance spiritually, to learn, absorb mussar, spend time with family, maintain connections with friends, and support and assist those in our immediate environment in need.

The simple, pleasant routine of life that descends upon us during the upcoming long winter isn’t a long dreary road or impassable ocean. It’s a road comprised of wonderful small stops along the way, of people we know and love, of sweet daily experiences that we create.

Moreover, if we absorb this understanding, learn to exercise it and live with it, then we’ll also gain what you asked about in your original question of “how do I acquire yishuv hada’as and calm?” How? Because simple, normal life is the anchor and stable ground during times when our stability is shaken and our lives are upended.

As Shlomo Hamelech, wisest of all men, so aptly expresses, “Tov pas chareva v’shalva va, mibayis malei zivchei riv, better a piece of dry bread and tranquility with it, than a house full of sacrifices of strife!”