Q: I would like to ask how to explain the mitzvah of Mishloach Manos both to my children (and to myself). Clearly, Mishloach Manos is not about tzedakah or giving food to those less fortunate than us, so what is the purpose in giving a gift of food to a friend?
Hagaon Harav Dovid Levy shlit”a replies: This is an excellent question that many wonder about over the years, but since we’ve become so accustomed to the mitzvah, rarely think to ask.
It’s easy to understand the mitzvah of matanas laevyonim, which is another example of the mitzvah of sharing our wealth with the poor before all the Yomim Tovim, as written, “Vesamachta b’chagecha, ata…v’hager v’hayasom v’ha’almanah…and you should rejoice on your festivals, you…and the convert and the orphan and the widow…”
What is the reason and purpose of sending food to the wealthy? Interestingly, we find a similar lashon in Nechemia 8:10, where it says, “V’shalchu manos, and they sent portions”. Mefarshim expound that this refers to “Le’ein nachon lo, to one who doesn’t have” which seems to allude that this mitzvah specifically applies to sending food to paupers. What, then, is the reason for sending mishloach manos to friends, and how does the mitzvah connect specifically to Purim that it was commanded expressly for this day?
The answer to this question is rooted in the shattering of a widely-held myth that matanos laevyonim is just another form of tzedakah.
The Rambam writes (Megillah 2:17): “Better for a person to increase matanos laevyonim than to increase his banquet or mishloach manos to his friends, as there is no greater or more glorified joy than gladdening the hearts of paupers, orphans, widows and converts, as one who gladdens the hearts of these unfortunate ones resembles the Shechinah, as written, ‘To revive downtrodden spirits and enliven the hearts of the crushed (Yeshaya 57:15).
Complete simchah is attained by bringing joy to others; and a person cannot rejoice fully when he is alone. From here, we glean that the mitzvah of mishloach manos is about drawing hearts closer together. The primary distinction between matanos laevyonim and mishloach manos is that matanos laevyonim is about filling a person’s need and lack, whereas mishloach manos is sending a gift to friend, who is not lacking for anything, but only in order to draw closer to one another. The joy created by matanos laevyonim is incomplete for the receiver, who may be ashamed, but the joy felt by one who receives mishloach manos is complete as it unites the receiver’s simchah with the giver’s simchah.
This clarifies why the mitzvah of mishloach manos was commanded specifically for the day of Purim, upon which the Maharal writes: “For Purim [was given] to Yisrael as they defeated the seed of Amalek, who are our greatest enemies and oppressors; and because Yisrael is the diametric opposite of the seed of Amalek. For as long as the seed of Amalek is extant in this world, [Hashem’s] Name is not One, and Yisrael are the ones who unify His Name evening and morning, and for this, they are one nation who cleave to Hashem Yisborach Who is One. And because Yisrael is a unified nation, they are worthy of having complete connection and friendship.”
On the day of Purim, Bnei Yisrael defeated Amalek, whose descendant Haman accused them with the words “There is one nation scattered and separated.” Our primary avodah on this day is thus to unite and bind ourselves to one another and to Hakadosh Baruch Hu; and the special tool used to accomplish this is mishloach manos which unites the simchah of two people.
This concept also clarifies the differences between the Megillah’s description of Bnei Yisrael initial acceptance the day of Purim first as days of “mishteh vesimchah” (9:19) and their later reacceptance of the day as “yom tov u’mishloach manos ish l’reiehu” (9:22).
During the first year, Bnei Yisrael celebrated with “mishteh vesimchah” to express their gratitude upon the miracle of Purim, but the next year, the simchah was renewed as a result of the nation’s achdus and reius, their unity and camaraderie after Mordechai Hatzaddik instituted Purim as a Yom Tov and tikkun for Klal Yisrael for generations ever after. Essential parts of this day were the mitzvos of mishloach manos and matanos laevyonim, which the Rambam describes as means of achieving achdus with the Shechinah Hakedoshah.
The above is a lesson not only for the days of Purim, but also opens a window of understanding into simchah throughout the year. First, we’ve gleaned that simchah cannot be celebrated in a vacuum and must be shared with others. Second, the simchah that we feel when others share in our simchah is the result of their care and positive feelings toward us. Finally, the simchah of filling a person’s need is incomplete for the receiver, yet bestows the giver a special feeling in knowing that he has helped another. Above all, we’ve learned how important it is to bring joy to those around us and the value of participating and sharing sincerely in other people’s simchas.
Oif simchas!
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